This table will be perfect for when I’m a ridiculously wealthy, pretentious museum curator who likes to inconvenience my friends with outlandish and uncomfortable seating arrangements when they come over to enjoy my many themed soirées that I hold in my loft apartment in SOHO.  

BYO (because I only serve white wine from the Rhine Valley). Clothing Optional. And be aware that the minimalist white furniture will make it difficult to see the white lines of cocaine.